• Children use these behaviors because they work. If a child is screaming, it's because he learned that this is the way to get what he wants. If this behavior is no longer useful, he will no longer use it.
• Every child and adult is doing the best he can. For whatever the reasons, in this moment he is not able to find another way to do it. If he could, he would.
• Our reactions play a vital role in encouraging or diminishing each behavior.

• Give no reaction. Keep your facial expression and voice tone unresponsive (i.e., don't frown, yell, grimace, etc.). Always move slowly and quietly during this time, so you are minimizing your reactions, and therefore, no longer being a possible support for these behaviors.
• Rather than attempt to ignore these behaviors, explain in a calm and caring voice that you don't understand when your child communicates with you this way. Even if your child is not verbal, your explanation is useful, both in content and tone.
• Avoid giving the "payoff " your child wants. If you give your child what he wants when he screams, you teach him that this is an effective way to communicate.
• Take care of yourself. Minimizing reactions does not mean you have to allow your child to hit or pinch you. Try putting a pillow in front of you and slowly moving to another location.
• Offer an alternative. If your child is pulling your hair, offer him a string to pull instead. If he is throwing blocks, offer him a pillow or stuffed toy to throw.
• Give substantial reactions of celebration every time your child is gentle and makes requests in a way you prefer.
• Move quickly when they request in a sweet or clear way so that you show them the contrast between these types of communication.

The The Greek philosopher, Socrates, used probing questions to challenge his students to discover their own answers. The Option Process Dialogue builds on his legacy by utilizing a highly respectful and effective system of questions asked with a nonjudgmental and nondirective attitude. Working with a skilled counselor, participants uncover and eliminate self-defeating beliefs and attitudes that have fueled discomfort, distress, and self-limiting behaviors and, in this way, learn to increase their sense of purpose, happiness, and personal power. Dialogues are available for individuals and for couples.